I was born in 1968 at a time when the television show Laugh-in was a hit. Mom was almost 20 and dad was 21. As a result, my name is JoAnne, after JoAnne Worley.  My mom loved her laugh and wears oversized earrings to this day.  My parents met in San Francisco in January of 1967 at the Human Be-In, which was some counterculture activity of their day.  They got married seven months later.  I was born in March. Go ahead and do the math; I did, too.

 

     When I was seven, my parents divorced.  My brother was one and had a different dad.  My brother is the living reminder of my mom’s treatment of my dad; he does not look like me at all. Their lives were going in different directions and mom did not like it.  She wanted to have the stay-at-home life but was not fulfilled being my mom, apparently.  I could tell my dad was somewhat unaware, but I could not tell dad because mom always told me, “We don’t need to say anything about our visits today.” Sometimes I wish they had just put me up for adoption, really. I think keeping me was selfish and they totally screwed me up.

 

     I have seen my dad twice in the past twenty years, both times have been since December. He remarried before my mom. He married Sharon who was six years younger than mom. Mom always referred to her as “the girl” my dad married.  This reminded me that my stepmom was not much older me and it became a deep struggle to look at her as an authority figure – just what mom wanted, but what about the struggle that caused for me when I became a teenage? When I was younger, however, I looked at Sharon as the lady who made dad smile and who liked doing things together with dad and me.  When I came home from visiting dad and Sharon, mom wanted to know everything, which was great until she starting picking at the little things Sharon and my dad did. It made me queasy, but I felt bad that mom was alone. She had a hard time finding the right kind of guy after dad moved out. She told me dad had met someone new before she had the chance to make things better and I felt sorry for her. Today, I see things quite a bit different.

 

     As the years passed, things only got worse. Mom got into several very unpleasant relationships where she got very good at talking about dad and Sharon, and the guys wanted to show off their testosterone. When dad showed up, they snarled at him without a good reason really – they were just mad he showed up and they wanted cash from him, no checks for child support because mom whimpered about it the bank placing a hold on the check. When grandpa came over, she made Sharon sound like a devil, but I knew her differently.

 

     Mom eventually got around to saying Sharon was pretending to be nice because she and dad were going to take me to live with them because she was not a good enough to be my mother. That made me mad. It was all very confusing to me but I began to resent my dad and Sharon for making my mom stress out. I felt protective of mom because dad had Sharon, but mom could not find the right man.

 

     Everything went down hill after mom’s second marriage. Dad left with Sharon and my sisters and little brother.  Sharon and my dad took a lot of garbage from my mom, her boyfriends and a husband who did not know his boundaries. Sharon tried to build a good relationship by taking me shopping a couple times for gifts that my mom shunned on Mother’s Day. She took me for portraits, but my mom would take me not long afterward to Penney’s and send those pictures of me to dad. I could go on for days about the rilvery my mom clearly felt.

 

     It wasn’t until my mom was dying of breast cancer that she apologized for driving him away. She said that every time she looked at Sharon, she felt anger well up inside because she was doing the things my mom wanted to do but had blown the chance to do. She envied her college degree and career, the time she spent with dad and the kids making us feel like a family. She said making Sharon and dad the villain was the only way to survive feeling like a loser. I never thought of mom as a loser. I thought of her as sad.  She apologized for the calls she never told me about and the cards she never gave me and for the misleading things she allowed me to believe so that she would have favor with me. If she could make different choices she would and she hoped I would let my dad and Sharon love me again.

 

     I have since reconnected with dad and Sharon and my sisters and brother. I love the relationships they have. I have realized that dad was just the marrying, one-woman kind. He and Sharon met after mom had filed for divorce. She has made dad happy and I am glad for that since my earliest memories were of his kind smile and walks to Mc Donald’s. I will never get those years back that mom’s jealously and insecurity took away. I was mad but as mom lay there with sorrow in her eyes, it quickly faded. I am grateful for the moment we held hands in the hospital room and for the gift of the truth she left me.

 

Things are not always as they seem. I accept mom's apology, but I will never get the years back that I lost with my dad, Sharon and my siblings. I find it hard to feel comfortable, but I know I am welcome because Sharon kept pictures of me with the family and I was not far from dad's heart.

7:30 a.m.    

Keith had been sitting at his desk since 6:15 a.m. – after all his tossing and turning with his mind unsettled, he went to the office early. Fuelled by only a couple of hours of sleep, he began to feel tired and as though his emotions were hanging on his shirt sleeves. He looked up at the clock and his heart told him his daughter would be finishing breakfast with her Lilo & Stitch backpack leaning against her chair. When they were all under one roof, they were working on creating a new habit together. After she had left her schoolwork at home the third time, he taught her to treat her backpack as if it was a puppy following her around that needed her attention; they had even starting calling the backpack Stitch! He smiled.
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    Taking in a cleansing breath, Keith picked up the phone and dialed Karen. It was early, so he would not have to worry about Bill answering the phone. It rang repeatedly.  Come on and pick up the phone this time. He gave a cheeseburger smile to passers-by as his co-workers began arriving. Finally, he heard a faint, “Hello? Daddy?”
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    “Hi sweetie, how are you doing this morning?” Before he could say anything more the voice changed, “Keith, we are leaving for school. Have a good day,” his soon-to-be former wife, scowled as she folded her phone closed.
.
    Pulling a cigarette from his pocket, he got up quickly and left the building. He was happy to have heard Sara-Marie’s voice. He called his father to share the good news, “Dad, I just talked to Sara-Marie. Well, sort of. I heard her say hello before Karen hung up on me.”
.
    “Well, that must make you feel a little better, son. What do you think you will do now?” his father asked.
.
~ ~ ~
.
   In the car, Karen talked to her young daughter. “Listen, Baby, hasn’t Mommy told you not to talk to strangers?”
.
    “Yeah, but daddy is not a stranger,” Sara-Marie responded.
.
    “No, but you don’t get to see him very much anymore, do you?” Alienation insisted she continue, “He could not get here in time for your Wednesday date, could he?”
.
    Sara-Marie dropped her head and uttered, “But he was going to talk to me on the phone, Mommy.”
.
    “Why did he wait until it was time to leave for school? Don’t worry about it. Mommy and Bill love you…”
.
 ~ ~ ~
.
    After pressing out his last cigarette in the oversized, outdoor ashtray, Keith returned to his desk to find a handwritten note, “Please see me when you get in.” It was from his supervisor so he went quickly to her office.
.
    “Come in, Keith,” his 40-something supervisor blurted with one hand covering the phone receiver. She whispered, “Shut the door, too, please. Thank you.”
.
    He was thinking about calling his attorney when her conversation ended. She looked at him with kindness and yet stumbled when she asked, “Keith, is there something I can do? Your attention to detail has fallen. Mrs. Hernandez came in very upset yesterday. You deposited her check into their joint account two weeks ago and she has been bouncing checks for three days.”
.
    “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. She wants to blame me for not being able to balance her checkbook? I don’t get that – sorry.”
.
    “No. What happened was this. You inverted the deposits – the small check went into her private checking account and the large check went into the joint account. Apparently, Mr. Hernandez took out the money and won’t replace it. They are going through a divorce and said this is our teller’s fault and the bank is taking a hit.”
.
    “Are you kidding me? Really? He is being an idiot and I am getting a write-up for it?”
.
    “It’s more than that, Keith. You know it. We understand your situation is a trying one. We have been covering your small errors for a couple months. We know you are going through a serious situation. Now it has impacted your work performance and the bank has to take a pretty serious loss. I am afraid I have to let you go, Keith. I am terribly sorry. There is nothing I can do. I tried to keep you on board.”
.
    His heart was beating like a gorilla, shoving his blood through his veins like never before. “Oh, crap. What am I going to do? I have a daughter to support whose mother will not take this very well.”
.
    She stood up and as she walked to the door, “I will have your check waiting when you finish cleaning out your desk. Again, I am so sorry.”
.
~ ~ ~ 8:50 a.m.   
.
   Sitting in his truck, Keith felt sick, but knew he had to tell Karen what just happened. He would not be able to pay the full support amount for the month; with unemployment so high finding another job was not likely anytime soon. He watched a young couple embracing and kissing in his rear-view mirror. What happened? Where did I go wrong? Now my daughter has parents in two places.
.   
   Fear chided him, “Now you will never get to see your daughter. That’s it. Karen is going to leave with Bill.” Keith shook his head and slammed both palms against his steering wheel…  

.
Friday night, 7:30 p.m. on the porch of their dad’s 1950’s home:   
.
   Eight-year old, red-haired Jack and his older brother, Cody, fiddled with their shoelaces just to stay outside and adjust to where they found themselves. They looked up the street every few seconds. They had only been at their dad’s house for half-an-hour. Jack had arrived with tears in his eyes. Finally, their father opened the screen door with one hand. Raising a glass of tea for a cheer with a smile on his face he said, “Boys, you are not going to grow if you skip meals like this. Why not come in and try what Gina made for dinner? She has your favorite, macaroni and cheese on the table.”
 .
   Cody gave another glance up the street, looked back at his brother and told him, “She isn’t coming, Jack, remember?” With tight lips and big eyes he repeated with emphasis, “Remember?” and approached his brother’s ear and whispered, “If we did not come over here, dad and Gina's going to take us away from mom and grandma. Remember, what she told us. They said mom is a bad mom and they are trying to take us away from her. We better go inside.”   
.
   Still holding the door open as his boys debated entering the house, Randy nodded his head toward the dining room and smiled. The man in the doorway was the dad the boys wanted to hug, but if they did, how would their mom feel? So, they got up together and walked passed their dad.   
.
   Next to the table was their baby sister in her Care Bear high chair, blowing self-produced bubbles as she squealed admiring her own sounds. The boys laughed, Cody gave her hug and they chose their seats. Randy dished out the meal and asked them what they wanted to drink. “Chocolate milk, please,” Cody responded, but Jack said nothing.    
.
   Jack looked up and said, “This doesn’t look like mom’s macaroni and cheese. I don’t want it.”
 .
   Randy put down two glasses of the Hershey’s chocolate milk he just stirred and with his arm around the chair-back where Jack sat, he said, “Son, you are right. Gina makes homemade macaroni and cheese and mom makes it from a box. Both are pretty good – they’re just different. It is kind of like the licorice you get at the little league field, Jack. There are Twizzler Sticks that come connected and there are the individual ones you get in grape and cherry. They taste a little different, but both are good, each in their own way. I assure you, it is tasty.”   
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   Hungry from all the day’s activities, once Jack forced himself to take a couple bites of Gina’s macaroni and cheese, he asked for a second and a third serving. He relaxed and mealtime went by fast. The boys played with their baby sister while their dad and Gina cleaned up… 
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~ ~ ~ Sunday, 4:00 p.m.   
.
   The car stereo playing loudly made the windows of house bounce when their mother and her boyfriend pulled up and honked the horn. Jack and Cody gave Randy a hug and warmly waved to Gina as they each picked up an end of their shared suitcase.
.
   Their mom’s boyfriend, Derrick, was leaning against the car, facing the house, when she popped the trunk. “Hi boys, how are you doing?” Derrick looked at Randy instead of the boys.
 .
   “Get in the car, we are taking you home. Aren’t you glad? Your momma sure missed you.”    The boys hugged their mom tightly and made their way into the back seat of the car.  They glanced back as it drove away swiftly and they waved a small good-bye through the side window with their fingertips.
.
   Kendra inhaled and out with her smoke she said, “Boys, tell me how your weekend went. Did Gina or your dad say anything about me?”   
.
   Jack asked, “Well, like what?”    
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   “Like, did they ask what I have been doing, or if I was dating somebody new? That kind of stuff,” she responded.     
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   “Well, not really. Mom, we did not want to go in at first.”   
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   “I don’t blame you,” responded Kendra; Alienation was feeding her thoughts unnoticed.   
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   “But once we were there a little while, mom, it wasn’t so bad.”   
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   Cody elbowed Jack, “Jaaaa-ack! Mom doesn’t want to know that.”   
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   “Well,” Jack rephrased, “I mean it was okay. We got to play with Kennedy, mom; she is soooo cute.”   
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   Jealousy prodded her mind. “She is not your sister, you know. You don’t have the same mommy. Babies are cute and funny sometimes,” replied Kendra.
.
~ ~ ~
.
   “So, how do you think we did?” Randy asked as he wrapped his arm around his wife to lead her inside. In her baby bliss, Kennedy was unaware of the tension her brothers, mother and father had just maneuvered.    
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   “Hmmm, not sure, babe. They were so quiet when they arrived, but they were having fun with Kennedy again, like yesterday, before they left; I hope that was enough. Our backyard picnic was fun yesterday, although it was a bit chilly. So, what is with honking? Is this some kind of kid drive-thru?”   
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   His mind elsewhere, Randy did not address the drive-thru remark, “I wish Sheryl would have been here. She does not seem to care anymore.”   
.
   Gina gently placed her toddler-free hand between Randy’s shoulder blades and began to press with her thumb, firmly and methodically up toward his neck. With a soft voice, she reminded him, “Randy, Sheryl is 14 now. What did you want to do when you were 14? Did you want to hang out with your parents or your friends? You did the right thing by giving her the freedom to choose and to take the pressure off her for your own heart’s sake.”   
.
   “I miss her, Gina. I am afraid she will stop making the effort to come over. I have the stories from other dads. I don’t want to end up with no real connections. Blood doesn’t make the relationship, time together does. I will always have the door open.”   
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   “She knows that, Randy. You know as well as I do, I am the one she loathes. Our parenting styles are different – Kendra’s and mine, and she has used every opportunity to keep the kids loyal to her instead of allowing them the freedom to give and receive more love into their lives. Her thought-life lead her to view me as a competitor from day one after we got married…” 
.
~ ~ ~ Sunday, 6:30 p.m.   
.
   Derrick was in the living room with a few beer-bottle companions watching wrestling as Kendra called everyone in for dinner. “Just bring my plate in here, and bring a beer with it.”   
.
   The boys and Sheryl joined their mom in the kitchen and began to fill their plates. Cody took the beer his mom handed him and headed for the living room. From behind, he told Derrick his Coors had arrived and took a swig of the bubbly beverage and burped under his breath.   
.
   “Son,” said Derrick, “if your mom knew I let you do this she would kick my butt. You better not tell her. Where is your sister?”   
.
   “She’s at the table already. Aren’t you gonna eat with us?”   
.
   “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” replied Derrick. 
.
~ ~ ~
.
   At the table, Jack stared at the macaroni and cheese, “This doesn’t look like Gina’s macaroni and cheese.”   
.
   In her thoughts, security jumped wildly with Alienation and Jealousy, accelerating Kendra's heart rate. She threw up her hands and asked, “Of course not, Jack. What’s wrong with it?”   
.
   In the moment, Jack rapidly inhaled but before he could cough up an answer, Kendra continued, “What is wrong with how I cook?”   
.
   “Uh, mom. Calm down (pause).”   
.
   Derrick walked in, “What’s going on in here? Who upset your mother? And, don’t talk to your mother like that, Jack. You shut your mouth, boy.”   
.
   “But I was answering mom,” Jack said looking at his plate, with eyes fully loaded with tears. He continued, “Mom, nothing is wrong with how you cook. It’s just that Gina makes homemade macaroni and cheese; that’s all.” His tears began to jump off his chin and hide in the fabric of his shirt.   
.
   “Well, Jackie, mom works and homemade macaroni and cheese is a no-can-do around here. I can't stay home like Gina who gets to stay home with the baby she had with your dad. I bet that baby does not go without or have to wait like we do."
.
   Alienation was still pounding her thoughts, "He makes sure that baby has everything, but I can’t buy you shoes when you need them, I barely have enough food in the house and I practically support you all by myself. I'm sorry it is so hard,” she cried.
. 
~ ~ ~        Sunday, 10:30 p.m.   
.
   Derrick and Kendra were getting ready for bed. Derrick rolled close to Kendra. While running his fingers through her hair, he inquired, “When do you get the lift tickets for Snow Valley, baby?”    
.
   “I haven’t got the child support check yet. I’ll go when Randy pays me what he owes me…” 
.
Warning: sensitive subject matter follows; you must be 18 to continue.   
.
    “And, baby, when are you going to show Sheryl how to wear make-up? With that hot little body of hers, you are in trouble woman.”   
.
   Her heart jumped, but Kendra shrugged off an inner alarm set when she was young girl as Derrick pulled her close for a kiss…  
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~ ~ ~ Epilogue:
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Not the most pleasant of subjects alluded to here, but we are increasing awareness to save children and their parents from many controversial or difficult situations. Through conversational research, this mediator found targets of child sex abuse had most often been at the hands of their distracted parent’s partner - either by marriage or cohabitation or by other men who interacted with the family – not the stranger we tend to fear.
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Many targets have suffered with childhood ailments as well as auto-immune disorders in adulthood.  Genetic triggers for chronic ailments and auto-immune disorders are reality, but when the stability of family is compromised and parents become distracted, PTSD - Post-traumatic Stress Disorder* from a form of abuse might be a consideration; please, listen to your children and observe their behavior but do not – you must not for the sake of true victims – use these accusations when they do not apply! It discredits real victims and makes it even more difficult for them to step forward to receive the help needed. If you read it, this is the missing portion of my biography page. I am passionate about the sujects of child sex abuse and alienation because of experience personally and professionally.
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Contact your local Social Services Agencies for resources, further assistance and consider contacting The American Psychological Association to access their therapist list. You might also visit:
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http://www.stopitnow.org/
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http://www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=185950 – awareness is key to prevention
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http://www.divorcereform.org/cor.html#anchor2348930 – correlation rates with other factors
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http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080507132910.htm - after divorce, stable families

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   Sara-Marie Madison Hennesy heard the 3:00 bell. Her classmates were talking about their green-eyed, after-school supervisor. Boys were playing superheroes. Girls with ponytails and braids were clapping and singing, “Say-say oh playmate…”

 

   Her heart began to bounce with joy against her chest. The blond hair on her goose-bump covered arms was kept flat, covered by the pink and white Barbie shirt her dad gave her for her 8^thbirthday; every cell in her body wanted to dash out of the classroom door, but the children had not been dismissed by Mrs. Westel. She knew her kind, dimple-smiled dad would be in the student loading zone because it was Wednesday!

 

   It had been their Wednesday routine for two years. Sara-Marie and her dad went to Mc Donald’s. She ordered a McNugget meal with an orange drink. Her dad ordered a Big Mac, extra large french fries (which they enjoyed sharing - and pulling fries out at the same time to see who would get the best one!) and a vanilla shake; she always got the first taste by pulling the straw with song from its cup to lick the sides and an inhale to suck out its content. She would always replace the straw with its paper hat tip with a smile and, “I love you, daddy.”

 

   Today was different. Karen, Sara-Marie’s mother, and her boyfriend were standing in the hallway, right outside her classroom door. As Sara-Marie turned right to go greet her dad, Karen chirped, “Oh, no – not today Sara-Marie. You are coming with Bill and mommy. We are going to register you for Girl Scouts!”

 

   “But I can do that tomorrow,” whined Sara-Marie.

 

   “No, we are doing it today. Besides, Bill took the afternoon off work so we could go to Mc Donald’s afterward. How does that sound?”

 

   “But this is daddy’s day. I want to go see daddy.”

 

   “Sara-Marie Madison, I told you what we are going to do. Isn’t it nice that Bill wants to go with us today?”

 

   “But daddy is here, I know it. Let me go find him,” whimpered Sara as her shoulders rounded down and her countenance fell low.

 

   “I already talked to him, Sara-Marie. He will see you next week.”

 

   “You told me that last week and the week before I think. Doesn’t daddy remember? Why can’t I just go with daddy and do Girl Scouts tomorrow?” pleaded Sara as she was taken by the hand - exit stage left.

 ~ ~ ~ 

   Keith finished up his cigarette, threw the butt of it down and stepped on it. He stuffed the last bite of his Big Mac in his mouth, opened the truck’s door and reached in to place his Mc Donald’s soda cup in the holder and headed home. 30 minutes into the drive home, he pulled over and dialed Karen’s number hoping not to get the message to leave a message again. However, that was his fate. While he was saying he would like to talk to Sara-Marie, his phone signaled a call was waiting.

 

   Quickly, he switched the line hoping it was Sara-Marie but it was his dad, “Hi son. How was your daddy-daughter date this week?”

 

   “Not great, dad. On my way here Karen called and said she had an appointment Sara-Marie could not miss. She is long overdue for the dentist,” Keith said sorrowfully. “I offered to meet her at the office after I fixed Robin’s flat tire, but she said that would not be necessary for this one.”

 ~ ~ ~ 

   As Sara-Marie picked up her extra nuggets to take home, she uttered, “I miss daddy.”

 

   Alienation returned, entering Karen’s mind unnoticed by her. He thrust Anger and Lies into her unconscious fears; they called for Bitterness and Hatred to join them. Without thinking about the activity in her mind, she kneeled before daughter and handed her the remainder of her drink, saying, “Daddies just have things that are more important sometimes, Sara-Marie. Your dad and his new girlfriend could not get here in time today which is why Bill and I wanted to spend time with you and cheer up your sad heart...”

 

~ ~ ~ For this Epilogue, you will need coffee or a coke:

   Are you aware of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) controversy? Those who have lived through damaged and lost years of their children's childhood, and today have weak or non-existent relationships with their adult-children (and frequently their grandchildren, too), and those presently suffering through it, will firmly tell you it exists.
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   The matter of alienation is complex. Along with others, I am pleased to be a co-laborer with in the field of stepfamily support and working to increase awareness about the damaging effects of alienation behaviors. I have been trying to connect the dots for two decades as an independent  researcher since 1986, and since 1998 as one having earned certification in divorce medation from among American Bar Association recognized, Forrest "Woody" Mosten (Los Angeles, CA),
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   When I presented the first two "Stepping In for Successful Blended Family Living" six-week series in 1990, many parents attending were experiencing the battle without a name or a diagnostic code. Those being methodically distanced from having sound relationships with their children after separation or divorce were feeling tremendous pain and frustration. 
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   The writers of A Richter Blend, Stepfamily Chronicles attempt to write in a manner that surrounds allmaspects of single parenthood, marriage, divorce and remarriage. We tackle the post-divorce adjustment, dating, remarriage and shared parenting in stepfamily holds and between the children's two homes. All the writers have worn stepchildren's shoes, four are biological moms and stepmothers, too. The research history coupled with experience is what accounts for the interest in the A Richter Blend, Stepfamily Chronicles series and this Q & A blog. Our writing attempts to expand perspectives in a manner not based solely on opinion or a single facet of experience.
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   Quite simply, alienating parents are emotionally abusing their children and frequently robbing them of meeting their best academic potential. Children might filltheir classroom seats but their minds are far from focusing on their education. Many enter the classroom with the argument of their parents/stepparents fresh on their minds. They wonder where they will stay next weekend - mom's house, dad's house, grandma/grandpa's house or at the home or apartment of their parents' boyfriend/girlfriend. Many wonder if they will have to stave off inappropriate comments and behaviors unseen or overlooked by their distracted and often overwhelmed parent. Will their non-custodial parent allow for weekend sports? Will they ask to attend their friend's birthday party, or will a fight result? 
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   We are writing to reveal the unseen battles of shared parenting - the cognitive battle and how thoughts relate to behavior choices. We have lived it, researched it, heard many personal stories through the years and taught about it. Don't miss our next Shared Parenting Conference on August 14 at the Ayers Hotel in Costa Mesa, Calif. where we will also be providing an update on the Stepfamily Satisfaction and Parential Alienation Experience Survey Project.
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   The statistical data resulting from the survey we hope will continue to build the case against parental alienation syndrome and is the primary and possibly only way we are going to be able to continue to nail down the controversy and effect greater change in legislation and mental health codes to deter the emotional and academic damages it thrusts upon children and target-parents. To participate in the momentous study, it is the 3rd option on the menu bar to the left, or link directly: http://stepfamilysystems.com/id1.html.
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   This survey project needs 10,000 survey responders to be viewed as credible, with the lowest percent margin for error once research methods are applied. We have been told it will take years to get the 10,000 surveys. Oh, really? Maybe. Once people understand the information is going to produce statistical data for a report going to the legal, academic and mental health fields where it cannot be ignored, we hope they will not pass the opportunity to be heard and taken seriously. Now is the time. We have the vehicle. It is time to drive it home! Please, join the Stepfamily Satisfaction and Parental Alienation Survey Project to provide the statistical data required to effect change for our children and our grandchildren together: http://stepfamilysystems.com/id1.html

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   Lastly, do you know someone practicing alienating behaviors? Imagine how the children would feel if their alienating parent should suddenly perish and they would be left to live with the target-parent? Who would not want to run away from that fate? How are the children to allow themselves to trust or be comforted by a belittled or demonized parent after the stake of alienation has methodically crushed their belief in and love for their other parent and the other significant relationships such as  grandparents? What are the long-term effects of being subtly programmed to feel abandoned or unwanted by the missing parent? What then? What then ...   
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   When the child takes the attitude of bitterness to the other parent's home, what then? Has he not been set up for difficulty - to receive consequences and not rewards? To face resentment and not be embraced? Has she not been set up to fear and not to give or receive love? Has bitterness not been sown into the heart of a child? Is it not better to see additional adults as complementary and not competitive roles in children's lives?  
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   How does all of this emotional distraction translate into academic neglect which robs him or her of adult prosperity, too? What about a decreased sense of value in the child - how will they try to make up for it or escape the void in their lives? Will they not fill it with something else - chip-on-the-shoulder attitude, alcohol, drugs, sex, and babies? What then?
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    Researchers, parents, stepparents and grandparents, therapists, mediators, judges, attorneys, coaches, authors, social workers, educators and chat-room/website moderators can come together collaboratively advancing the likelihood for real improvement with the Stepfamily Satisfaction and Parental Alienation Survey Project to effect change with the frontline of current information and statistical data.
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___ Whatever your position, please, share the survey link: http://stepfamilysystems.com/id1.html and help decrease and cease Parental Alienation behaviors.
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   Braided Family Point: Are not the children of Christian faith based families caught in the alienation process being taught to disrespect the fifth commandment of God? And are not those children being robbed of the fruit of the word of God which evidences with obedience comes blessing?
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Check the StepfamilySystems.com Resource page for additional resources.
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Another link for information: http://www.education.mcgill.ca/pain/