Braided Families: additional insights for Christian homes

Why the name "Braided Families"(TM) :

Definition of a Braided Family: 1. a family unit where everyone must wear braids - No, just kidding! 2. a family that is trying to blend or has blended under the leadership of God in the home. Hence, StepfamilySystems.com presents to the general public and offers the Braided Family option to those who desire to have it. Cheerfully, Tricia, Director of Stepfamily Assimilation and Shared Parenting Planning.

People know a cord of two strands is stronger than one alone. For this demonstration, don't rush, read slowly. You will need three shoestrings or yarn strips. If you are coupled with someone, staple a tag with one name at the bottom of each strand. These two strands, wrapped together, create a rope because they don't stand isolated. They reach with a twisted grasp, wrapping around to cling to the other one for strength. I like ropes! Let's look at them this way for a minute - what happens when a rope's two strands (representing a couple) are pulled from the bottom? (The pulling represents stress related to the inherent, and often complex, challenges step-families face.) So, what happened when you pulled at the bottom of your rope?

It unravelled and the two became separate strands again; no longer cleaving one to the other, they have faced their undoing.

Now, let us consider the restoration and strength of God available to His church, the body of believers. Pick up the two strands again (the individuals of the couple) and add a third one with "God" stapled to it to represent the awesome God we can know personally. What happens when you weave these three strands together? A braid results. The two strands are brought closer together by the third which has wrapped itself around the two. Do you see that? So, let's see what happens when stress pulls at the bottom of a braid. Go ahead, give it some tugs and hard pulls and see for yourself. What happened? A braid tightens when stress presents itself; even pulling as hard as you can at its ends -

it just gets tighter! So it can be with God at the center of our relationships. He is able to strengthen us when we allow Him to go between and around all our circumstances. A key to this success rests in our thought lives. Your thought life will either lead you places or you can become aware of what your mind is entertaining and you can direct it; it is somewhat like picking up the television remote. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Your cord of three can be yourself, your child/ren and God (or) yourself, your spouse and God or both make two cords!

Why do some families make it? What are the differences between those that do and do not survive? The faith factor is part of our momentous Stepfamily Satisfaction and Parental Alienation Experience Survey project; we invite you to participate at your comfort level by clicking on that menu option to the << left, or add it to your "To do" list today. Unresolved issues in or between households is toxic to blending a family and can hurt your children for years, even into adult-child / parent relationships if left unaddressed.

Believers may experience a double-dose of frustration because they not only have family pain, but also wrestle with feelings associated with their faith and relationship with God. Facing issues is uncomfortable and difficult, especially if we have been in the wrong. Be quick to apologize when God reveals your short-comings to your heart, lest it should harden a little more each time you fail to respond to His direction. Sweeping things under the carpet or claiming them as covered by the blood of Christ and walking away is not Biblical, otherwise, why would there be instruction to leave your gift at the alter and go make things right with your brethren? (Matt. 5:23) Making things right leads to a life without regrets because you have given your all. It is up to others to respond or not.

There are few places better for training the heart and shaping it than being part of a step-family or in a shared-parenting situation, would you agree? Giving up our own desires and full control of raising our own children because adult relationships failed - and where there are past hurts to be reconciled is not easy. Know this - when you have done your best, you can live with the results without the torment of "would-have, could-have, should-have" robbing you of your peace. Rest, trusting in God's sovereignty and calling your thoughts captive is a key to victory: 2 Cor. 10:5, "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."

The doors are open for healing, but it is up to each believer to walk through with God at the helm. Praying for you. Send your prayer requests to: BraidedFamilies@StepfamilySystems.com

Thank you to Rhonda's Jewelry for the exchange to which helped pay for the experiential run of Stepfamily Straight Talk during our experiential run.